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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883899">Agni Kai Abuse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindbending/pseuds/mindbending'>mindbending</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Politics, Post-Canon, sometimes the best way to fight an unjust law is to throw a fruit pie at it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:13:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindbending/pseuds/mindbending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko groans. “It’s illegal to ban Agni Kais without a constitutional amendment, and that’ll never happen because it’s ‘a blatant affront to tradition.’”</p>
<p>"Babe," Sokka says with an indulgent smile. "Have you considered that you just need to honor tradition instead? Really embrace it?”</p>
<p>“...what’s the plan?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang &amp; Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A:tla, The Avatar</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Agni Kai Abuse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I hate the Constitution!”</p>
<p>Zuko spits sparks along with this declaration, and one drops onto the venerable legal document unrolled before him. He extinguishes it before the whole paper catches fire, but he looks mad about it.</p>
<p>“Say it a little louder,” Sokka tells Zuko, his mouth half-full of delicious komodo-rhino sausage. “I’m not sure your entire country heard its monarch trash the legal system.”</p>
<p>With a groan, he rubs his face. “I can’t live in a world where Agni Kais are still legal. But apparently it’s illegal to ban them, without a council-approved constitutional amendment, and that’ll never happen because it’s ‘a blatant affront to tradition.’”</p>
<p>“So you’ve only got one option.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can quit living.”</p>
<p>Sokka jabs a sausage skewer at him. “No, we’re thinking positive now!”</p>
<p>“I can positively <em> quit living!” </em></p>
<p>"Babe." Sokka’s glare melts to an indulgent smile, then morphs into a cunning smirk. “Have you considered that you just need to honor tradition instead? Really embrace it?”</p>
<p>“...what’s the plan?”</p>
<p>/</p>
<p>The plan starts with Aang.</p>
<p>Over a formal palace dinner, a minor Ozai-loving official who usually snipes at Zuko decides to take aim at Aang instead. The guy’s annoying, never genuinely threatening, so he only makes a snide comment about Aang’s hair or lack thereof. The Fire Nation considers a shaved head to be a mark of dishonor- as Zuko knows too well- but ordinarily Aang would laugh the comment off. Ordinarily, the only penalty this loudmouth could get would be an hour-long lecture on how, in Air Nomad culture, tonsure holds a deeply spiritual meaning, and wouldn’t it have been great if there were more bald Air Nomads around to explain that?</p>
<p>Instead, Aang looks to Zuko, Zuko nods to Aang, and Aang challenges the guy to an immediate Agni Kai.</p>
<p>There’s a lot of whispering, and Katara grabs two pitchers of water just in case, and Zuko holds too tight onto Sokka’s hand as they migrate from the dining room to the arena. To his credit, the official faces impending doom with admirable fortitude. He makes the first move, leaping forward to unleash a wave of flame with a solid punch-</p>
<p>A mighty blast of air blows out the fire before it gets more than a foot out.</p>
<p>Standing on the other side of the arena, Aang smiles beatifically at him. “Would you like to surrender?”</p>
<p>“...yes, Avatar, if I can possibly be deserving of your mercy.”</p>
<p>“You got it. Time for dessert!”</p>
<p>/</p>
<p>“Your Majesty, this practice has historically been used by <em> fire</em>benders-”</p>
<p>“I’ve read through all the literature on the subject,” Zuko says, interrupting his legal minister, “in order to better appreciate our nation’s traditions, and nothing restricts the practice to only firebenders. How could we deny our honored visitors the chance to seek <em>unquestionable</em> <em>justice</em> via an Agni Kai?”</p>
<p>Zuko sounds dead-serious about it, because it’s a very serious matter. While visiting from Omashu, King Bumi brought along his dear pet Flopsy, who’s spent the past half-year on a strict vegan diet after a lifetime of too many feasts. Yet Toph snuck out late last night and fed him a whole wheelbarrow’s worth of komodo-rhino sausages. She completely derailed his progress in a flagrant, unquestionable show of disrespect.</p>
<p>Despite the legal minister’s protests, Toph and Bumi’s hollering escalates naturally to an Agni Kai. Toph wins, between the metalbending and her prior tournament experience. Bumi makes it out unscathed nonetheless, yielding with a wild grin on his face and a proud bow to the crowd. The Fire Nation’s nobility looks back in horror as they realize the real loser was the centuries-old palace arena- its torches and metalwork all bent out of shape, the stone floor reduced to rubble.</p>
<p>Zuko gives them a standing ovation.</p>
<p>/</p>
<p>The closer Sokka and Zuko get to the palace courtyard, the louder the outcry gets.</p>
<p>“You are a juvenile, cultureless <em> airhead.” </em></p>
<p>“You’re stuck-up and you wouldn’t know fun if it smacked you in the nose!”</p>
<p>Zuko crashes through the doors and finds a crowd gathered around Mai and Aang, who are apparently at each other’s throats.</p>
<p>Zuko strides through the crowd, parting it easily. “What <em> happened?” </em></p>
<p>She wheels around with a twitching jaw, which for Mai counts as a full-blown scowl.“Your precious Avatar just took three tarts- fresh-baked with compote, creme patisserie and intricate fruit decoration- and he randomly flung them in the air.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true, I wouldn’t fling them randomly. I flung them at the big palace statues for a specific artistic purpose!”</p>
<p>Zuko splutters. “What<em> statues?” </em></p>
<p>“The big statues of Ozai, Azulon and Sozin,” Aang reports, wide-eyed and guileless. “Their faces needed a pop of color.”</p>
<p>“They were looking a bit drab, I bet fruit improved things.” Sokka nudges his boyfriend with an elbow. “You could say it’s a matter of...good taste.”</p>
<p>Zuko grants him an eyeroll before considering the scene before him. “I guess the only way to decide this is an Agni Kai, huh?”</p>
<p>Looking like the picture of innocence, Aang nods. “We already decided we’ll fight at sunset.”</p>
<p>Mai narrows her eyes. “It’s the only way to restore the honor of fine pastry.”</p>
<p>/</p>
<p>Perched on the edge of their bed, Zuko wraps new bandages around Sokka’s arm, which currently bears several scratches. His hands are gentle on Sokka’s skin. His brow is furrowed in intense concentration.</p>
<p>Still, he can’t prevent a snort from wriggling up.</p>
<p>“Stop laughing,” Sokka protests. “He stole my last dried sea prune, a duel was a perfectly reasonable response!”</p>
<p>“I’m not laughing because you challenged Momo to an Agni Kai,” Zuko retorts. “I’m laughing because you <em> lost.” </em></p>
<p>/</p>
<p>Fire Lord Zuko paces before the Fire Nation’s High Council, radiating distress.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” he says, breathless. “I promised you I’d finish my comments on the new tariff policy by now. I promised <em> myself, </em>and I broke that promise to myself.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, steeling himself. “Given this serious betrayal of trust, I have no choice but to challenge myself to an Agni Kai.”</p>
<p>He carefully keeps his features under control, staring down his ministers with unwavering gravitas but for the laugh in his eyes. They all stare back. An uncomfortable silence stretches forth, seemingly endless.</p>
<p>At last his legal minister clears her throat. “Fire Lord Zuko, the council is now open to drafting an amendment that would remove the Agni Kai from Fire Nation law, if you might still be interested.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Zuko can’t answer. The mirth in his eyes flickers, only to be replaced by a dangerously wet glimmer. With a frown Sokka clears his throat and leans forward to speak, though ambassadors historically don’t weigh in on the council’s domestic discussions. </p>
<p>“For what it’s worth,” he declares,“you’ve got my support. Heart and soul.”</p>
<p>Sokka catches his eye as he says it. Zuko blinks, coming back to himself.</p>
<p>He gives his council a regal nod. “Your suggestion is noted; have the first proposals on my desk by tomorrow. Now, about the trading routes to Ba Sing Se…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading. Kudos and comments are appreciated &lt;3</p>
<p>ETA: If Zuko did wind up fighting himself, he would get out on that arena, try to generate lightning, fail to generate lightning, blow himself backwards across the arena, and knock himself right out. He would absolutely go down in history as the loser lord who lost a one-person Agni Kai if it’d help change the law.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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